Tuesday, April 20, 2010
The title really says it all. It was a good day. Even though I didn't get much sleep the night before and woke up tired, my mind was sound. Ususally when I'm tired I feel depleted, empty, and depressed. I will have to push myself through the day with very little mental energy to work with. My emotions will spiral and splatter all over the walls.
Today I felt great.
If I was manic and tired, I'd become anxious, with zooming thoughts, and I would pace trying to keep up with them not being able to rest my weary body or mind. I would try to lie down and my mind would attack my thoughts to keeping them going.
None of that happened today. Today, I had a good amount of mental and physical energy. I did odd jobs around the house and was outside most of the time with dogs. I rested when I needed and I got going when I needed. It was a beautiful spring day and I enjoyed it. This has got to be the best feeling in the world to be right where I am and not in the throws of swinging back and forth. I'm finally getting a chance to be the real me. The REAL me, not my illness. This is fantastic! I've been cautious for a while about enjoying it, in case it didn't last long, but now I'm just going to enjoy the hell out of it!!