I have really been trying hard to break my depression as it comes through the day. Mornings are the pits for me. They are my worse part of the day. I am an avid night owl and have been for as long as I can remember. I dread ever having to get out of bed, even during manias, that is if I've gotten any sleep going through one. I am always drowsy from my night meds, not enough sleep or both and I tend to nod on and off for the first half hour or hour. When I finally come to some sense of consciousness, I would rather crawl back in bed, anything not to deal with the whole empty day in front of me. This is when depression begins to get a grip on my brain. Feeling empty and lonely and the thought of moving is immobilizing.
Eventually, I feed the dogs, as I try to keep them on a regular schedule. Task #1 complete. Now what? Thoughts and wants become heavy. Either with things I must do or those I haven't decided yet. My brain is thick, like stirring a pot of wet cement soup, trying to find the magic that will lift me to function.
My key lately and in the past is music. Where ever I am at emotionally, I find a song that fits and build from there. Eventually I feel my mood lift or at least change to a point that I begin my day. Sometimes it just works. Each song laying a piece of the foundation for stable ground that can hold my heavy thoughts. This way I have footing to pick them up and throw them into the wind. It is really nice when it works out that way, but sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it is a push and pull fight in my head and trying to find the "right" song can be infuriating. When I can't find what I'm looking for, like today, I turn off the stereo and started my day anyways. This was more of a springboard action and I vault into my day. It still helped in my depression because I was angry and it tapped into that anger instead of shoving down into depression. It helped me find the real reason I was angry. A long standing fight I've had with God that I'm starting to come to terms with and understand. At least for tonight I've made peace with it.
I have been working diligently on breaking my depressive cycle. It is still a trial and error operation, but it is a work in progress and that's more than I could say before.