Monday, June 27, 2011

You Mean There's More???

I am still depressed.  I don't know why.  I mean I had one session of therapy.  What do you mean that wasn't enough to change my whole life, yet ??  :)  I'm starting to get impatient already.  I want to purge everything and get on with feeling better.  Which I find rather hilarious.  And I'm chuckling to myself that I just had to wait until the last minute to get on board.  Had to make absolutely certain that I had tried every angle and exhausted all possibilities so I'd be running on empty in the door.  Had to make sure I went the full length before having to surrender.  Yep, I had to be certain.  Absolutely certain.  There was going to be no doubling back in self doubt. And of course now that I am here, I want to rush like bullet through all the crap and get to the good stuff.  lol  But I'm smiling.  I've got about a million places I want to start and I am trying to find a way to say them all at the same time.  As I'm sure the "newness" of going to therapy will wear off and you're probably all laughing at me, I am reveling in it for now.  I am enjoying the feeling of making the decision for myself to go and did it all on my terms.  That is huge when you are talking about sharing your deepest secrets with another party.  And I just glowing.  What a fantastic way to start my new life that will be happening.  I am looking forward to it and is just the coolest thing.  I think for once, I am proud of myself.  Really proud.  And as long as I don't try to get all over in the next session, I'll be just fine.  :)  I like this feeling of taking charge of my own life, I think I could really get into it!

3 comments:

Mart the Fart said...

Hello Midnight, glad you're taking this Therapy situation in your stride and that your sense of humor is just as wicked. Even when you're down you pick me up!!! Love the post and hope that you're going on to greater things. Hugs. Mart

midnight rainbow said...

Hi Mart! Yes, I made it here. Thanks to this wonderful place in blog world that I call home and all of my wonderful friends like you. Thanks for being part of the ride. :)

Natalie said...

You're smiling, glowing, AND you're proud of yourself?? Damn, woman. You are amazing. Just look at you go! Onward and upward indeed. :)

Finding a great therapist is so empowering and so healing - the way you're feeling speaks volumes. So, so glad you found such a fabulous fit right out of the gate. (That depression will lift when you're good and ready - you're doing an amazing job of honoring where you are, yay!)