So as much as I'm changing and putting some time under my belt, the doldrums of winter are getting tougher to bear. It is slowing me down to almost a standstill. I'm struggle to do much of anything more than basic needs. Grey clouds dull the landscape into muted shades of a dead mouse and really it is about all I can take. While I'm not driving down into the great abyss or being sucked into black holes nor am I up against the wall with a knife to my throat, I'm not happy. I've been more irritable and numb. I have to push myself to do anything and that includes with the dogs. And it is just tough. I'm still spellbound why I used to love winter, the cold and snow for so many years and now I just want to hibernate.
All I know is that I can come here and talk about depression and you will understand. I don't even have to explain it or give an example, you guys know. I'm still reeling from the deaths of two of our puppies that died last October. They had homes, both deaths tragic and unexpected. I'm sure it has added to my depression.
I guess I really came here just to be understood. And not looked upon as a freak. I just need to be heard. I'm depressed.
4 comments:
Hi Midnight. It is at times like this that we all need that little ear to whisper into. You're not alone. You never will be nor will your thoughts and issues break you or drive you away. Expressing yourself is wonderful and you write from the heart and that is why you're so special to me and everyone else. You will always be here to tell your story. It's your life's work.
No one else can capture the imagination like you can.
Keep writing.
Warm hugs - Mart
Mart-you have me speechless at the moment. Thank you for your kind words that I am letting soak in.
So good to hear from you.
Midnight
I'm so sorry you are going through this tough time. I have seasonal affective disorder, so I know what it is like to just collapse during winter. It is really hard just to get through each day. Depression certainly sucks. I hope you get some kind of relief from this very soon. And fortunately winter is on the way out!
Adventures in Anxiety Land
Thanks for your support Blue Morpho. One good thing is that time doesn't stop whatever the season and each day survived is getting closer to spring. :) Just have to keep holding on.
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