I've been exhausted. Like all the sleep in the world would not be enough to satisfy me. Hubby and I are finally over the hump of an extremely stressful few weeks. I helped him out with some of his projects and it just wore me down. I don't know how he does it. He's like Superman or something. While I feel like I need to curl up in the corner for the next few weeks and shun the world. When in the world did that happen? I used to party all night and then bounce back to work the next day. Ahhh, to be young and dumb again. Now being out and around people sucks the life right out of me and it takes a ton of alone time with the dogs to recuperate. I'd just like to board all the windows and doors for a week or two and completely isolate. But I force myself to get up and moving, dress, eat, and go out with dogs, even take a couple of them for a walk. I don't know how I made it through, but I did. Right now, it feels worth it.
I slipped back into victim mode a couple of days ago. Damn triggers! It all came back to naming the truth of the matter to myself and with my husband to dissipate the victim mode and be in control of myself again. I had to face a fear within me that meant being honest about how I felt. Something I've buried deep down. WAY deep down and all was well again. The feeling was actually a good feeling, but a painful one as well. And all I could feel for the most part was the fear and pain.
I've been doing pretty good since raising my anti-depressant. And I'm thinking I may have to do it again in the winter time. While I love the snow and cold, the grey, gloomy days are enough to drag anyone down. And we have plenty of them here. So I know I have the freedom to do up my meds, I just need to let the nurse practitioner know. She says that's fine. I love the support I have at the hospital where I have still been seeing my doctors. Even the receptionist has warmed up to me over the years. :)
And that's about the latest. How has your week been so far?